Tuesday, August 26, 2008

How Many Moms Does It Take. . .

How many moms does it take to drive a child to school?

The season of carpools has begun, and I enjoy juggling schedules as much as the next person, but I got a request yesterday that left me scratching my head.

I was asked if I could help get a neighbor's child to school because it was too hard for the mom. She has three kids.

And apparently, it's also too difficult for the nanny who is there in the morning to help with the three kids.

So because life is just so easy for me I guess, I'm the obvious choice. I'm just shrugging my shoulders and shaking my head on this one. I wish I had a nanny to help out in the morning!

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Then there was the phone call from a famous volunteer. We'll call her "martyr mom."

She has been known to take on enormous fund raising projects single-handedly. But this year she has a conflict with the big magazine drive. Her words to me were:

"Do you work?"

I substitute teach, which is unpredictable, so for some reason I answered "no."

"Oh good, then you can work the four days of the magazine drive. It's a huge amount of work."

I wanted to scream. This woman needs to 1) Learn to delegate. 2) Plan ahead and 3) Stop assuming those of us who don't work 40 hours a week are not busy.

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We moms make a lot of different lifestyle choices when it comes to raising our kids. I am trying trying trying today to remember to be tolerant and see things from other points of view. I think having all these kids has just blessed me with some different organizational skills.

And I did enjoy the quiet house yesterday. You know, because I don't work, I just sat around. . .

17 people stopped folding laundry to write:

Beth said...

I have some laundry you could do for me... you know. Because you're not busy. Thanks! Please use two drier sheets. I like my clothes extra soft. Thanks! ;o)

~Beth

What A Card said...

I think moms of twins have to be more organized. Maybe that's why you always seem to have so much "free" time to other people.

Hee! If there's ever been a time to pull the twin card, I think it's now. "But I have twins..."

Did I mention I worked as a substitute for a little over a year, right before I got pregnant and while I was pregnant. What a thankless but so important job. So good for you for subbing!

Lidian said...

It was always hard for me to say no, too, I tended to just not volunteer (I didn't have individuals asking so much as constant notices screaming for help, from school and just generalized schoolyard pressure). In retrospect I would be far better at protecting myself an saying no, I do work, in fact I need to go home and work now, etc etc.

I wish you plenty more days of peace and quiet. Maybe that nanny could do some laundry for you.

Gerb said...

I can completely feel your pain on this one. Family and friends will call me to babysit during the day because I "don't have a job" and have "nothing else to do" (their words, not mine!). So, motherhood and homemaking and carpooling and etc, etc... isn't a job? I stay home with my kids for a reason - to spend time with them and create memories.

I just deleted about 3/4 of my comment. I figured you didn't need a ranting novel. But oh, how I can relate to this one!

Laura said...

Where did you tell super magazine mom to put the magazines?
(That wasn't very nice of me.)

Steph said...

How frustrating! :/ Also? It's behavior like this that keeps the Mommy Wars going - SAHMs seem to get ZERO respect. :(

Coloradolady said...

Not busy my foot. When is a mom not busy.

I used to be that mom, the mom who ran all the school fundraisers, who organized from scratch and single handed (with my husbands) help a massive carnival. I very seldom asked for help. Now, I think back and it's like "What was I thinking".

If you want a tip, I think I would just stay the way you are....not busy! RIGHT!

cute post. brought back memories.

Kelsey said...

She has a nanny and she still wont take them? Crazy!

Coloradolady said...

I have an award for you. Come visit me.

Marcy Writes said...

SO bleeping true.

Recently I was asked by a big ol TV show about SAHM and why we are SO busy...here is my response:

"Well while you are at work I am the room mom, the team mom, front office helper and the PTA volunteer. I help organize the charity auction as well. I judge the school district art competition- that I volunteer to organize. I am the art docent instructor for the school once a week- and without me, your public school kid would get no art education at all. And who do you call when the school decides to have an annoying half day for no reason? Me. You call me to watch Billy and Sally since I am 'just a stay-at-home mom anyway'. Of course I don't mind.Or do I? So even though I am getting no paycheck-I am still WORKING."

I feel ya sista

Cheryl Lage said...

Hey Doll---
I've got some bonbons and some daytime dramas ..come on over! (You're not WORKING, are you?)

Yeah. When I tell people I work from home -- which I actually DO, despite the "oh yeah,SURE you do" disbelief I see in the eyes of those requesting my assistance for the labor and time intensive task at hand -- somehow the word spreads "she's available" to EVERYONE. I've been working on my pronunciation of "No" but it's hard...

Feelin' your pain....

The Apron Queen said...

Are you sitting down? You won the apron giveaway from Progeny over at Confessions of an Apron Queen. E-mail me at jmlsdi3 at yahoo dot com or Erin at erin_moyer at sbcglobal dot net. Woo Hoo!

Amy said...

oh man! Why do people asumme that SAHM sit on their butts all the time? That use to drive me nuts! So, I hope you told her no...

Jocasta said...

I've made the mistake of joining my multiple birth committee! There is one member who is absolutely crazy - rang me up yesterday to make sure I had spelt my name correctly on a piece of paper. I would blog about her but sadly she reads it!

Anonymous said...

Yes, put down those bon bons to help those with busier schedules. Surely, you've got nothing going on.

Hey, at least you won an apron!

Melanie said...

Can I have some bon bons as well?? Sometimes scratching your head is all you can do...

Mom/Mum said...

Yeah because being a mum = sitting around on your bottom all day eating cookies and watching Oprah re-runs doesn't it?! Some people eh?
I really enjoy your blog btw..

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