We quilters live with one fear: that we'll spend about a thousand hours making a spectacular quilt, give it to someone we love and they will use it for a picnic cloth.
So today's how-to will demonstrate one small step in quilting, basting, or as we quilters call it, making a quilt sandwich. I'm sure you'll appreciate the effort involved.
- Move the couch back and clear a space on the floor. Vacuum the area. Feel a little guilty about the wii fit sitting there unused. No need to vacuum the rest of the floor. We're quilting here, not doing housework.
- Lay out the quilt back and go to get the masking tape to tape it down. Remember that you left the tape in the car because you've been driving all over town taping up posters for Drama Girl's play. Note with dismay that after Jungle Boy watered the lawn, he left the hose draped all over the steps in an attempt to kill you. Reminisce about how much fun he used to think it was to wind the hose up.
- Tape down the back of the quilt with masking tape. Yell at the cat when she sits on it. She's not in the picture because I yelled at her. Quilts in progress are cat magnets.
- Lay out the batting that you have carefully measured to match the back of the quilt.
- Notice that you don't seem to have measured as carefully as you thought. Carefully fold up the batting and go out to the garage where you store all your batting to look for a piece the right size. Because you must have a piece the right size.
- Scream when you unfold a piece and find a spider in it.
- After going through a dozen bags of batting, unfolding them all and vowing to 1) label them with their dimensions someday and 2) make cute table runners or something with all these nice batting scraps, realize that you do not have a piece the right size after all.
- Go untape the quilt back because you don't want the cat to sit on it. Take the kids on a road trip.
- Get distracted in the store looking at Wizard of Oz fabric. Bore kids to point of insanity. Smile inside at your ability to do this.
- Bring the batting home, tape the quilt back to the floor again, put the batting down. Trim excess to fit. Save that extra batting for the spiders.
- Lay out the quilt top. Listen with satisfaction as girls both start begging that they get to keep this one. Daydream about family feuds over your deathbed over splitting up the quilts.
- Get down on your hands and knees with your big peanut butter jar full of open safety pins, and begin pin basting all three layers together, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that you are probably scratching up your hardwood floors.
- A million pins later
- Get up off the floor and realize your back and knees hurt. Untape quilt back from floor. Now you're ready to quilt it. The basting was the easy part. Now the real work begins.