Today We Mourn

Yesterday's tragic events were so shocking and unbelievable to me that I could hardly process them.  As a scientist, I find comfort in gathering as much information as possible to sift through and analyze, but yesterday watching the news unfold did not give me any of the answers I needed.

Like everyone else, my brain got stuck on why?

I choked up when the President did.  I texted my kids in class that I love them.  We talked and shared when they came home from high school.

Today I woke up thinking of the families and community who lost so much.  I mourn with them.  I don't need to know their children.  I work with small children and I am a parent.  There is nothing more innocent and sweet than a kindergartener.  I can't imagine anything more horrible than losing a child to violence.

Today I will probably not read the news.  Nothing can undo.  Nothing can fix what has happened.  Nothing will make those families and that community whole again.  I cannot gather any information that will help me.

Today I am getting ready for our annual cookie party.  I will bake and tidy and set up .  I will find comfort in family and home and traditions.  But throughout the day, I know I will pause and think of those affected.

A little piece of my heart was torn yesterday.  Today I mourn.  Tomorrow I will celebrate the season and give love to my own community of young people who will come my house. 

And by giving that love, I will give myself healing and hope.  I will teach the young people I host that there is a community that cares for them.  By traditions and joining together, I will teach peace.  It's that simple.  I can't cure the world, but I can help my one small corner.