Humans Lie

I'm not sure this box really went into outer space. I got inside for some space exploration and when it was opened up later, I wasn't on some exotic cat planet. I was someplace that looked suspiciously like a vet's office.

And the first alien I met held me down and put a thermometer in a very delicate place. Who dreamed up this kind of torture?

I could hear my sister crying from her spaceship but I was too nervous to answer her. I was so nervous I purred. Loudly. Then I started to shed profusely. The big alien made some joke about how he was wearing a fur coat now. I was so embarrassed.

Then I was placed back in my spaceship and the hatch was closed again. I prayed for a better trip this time. I landed back on my mother planet.

I am never flying again. I expressed my displeasure about this trip by exercising my delicate area on the persian rug. Then I threw up a few times in the hall just to get my point across.

But you know what I think? I think that "Cosmic Pet Shuttle" didn't really go into space at all.

I hate false advertising.

- Ashleigh the cat