Drama Girl's First Day of School

I love the day after Labor Day on social media. All of my mom friends are posting beautiful pictures of their kids starting school. I have a few of my own.

Here's Drama Girl on her first day of kindergarten.

And here she is on her first day teaching a college class. I love that she sent me a first day of school picture. I love that she apologized for the unpacked boxes. As if I would care! She just moved into her new apartment a few days ago.

I am so proud I could burst. There is nothing like knowing your kids are going to make it, that they're doing what they love, that their future is so bright they've gotta wear shades.

Congratulations Drama Girl. I love you so much.

It's Not About the Day

Happy Mother's Day to those of you who have children, wish for children, or are just starting to think about children. And if you are uncomfortable today because you've lost your mom, or you have a strained relationship with your mother, or for any reason really, I'll be your mom. Today and every day.

The greatest gift Drama Girl gave me today was informing me that she'd invited another friend for this Thanksgiving. I'm already excited.

Last Thanksgiving, my kids and their friends flew in from all over the country to my house. I got to be the mom for everyone who needed it. They slept all over the house in beds and couches and air mattresses, they all cooked, arranged flowers, and got board games going. It was a lot of people in my tiny house.

It was the greatest time of my life. One of the many payoffs for raising kids is getting to embrace their friends and being embraced by them in return.

 Happy Mother's Day to you and the family you were born into or the family you have found. It's not about the day, it's about the love.

It Was a Great Party

Here is one of my extra daughters (not actually related to me) decorating a rice krispie cake for my big Halloween party.  She arrived at 2:00 in the afternoon and the last guest left at 2:00 in the morning.  The party was a lot of kids and a lot of food and a lot a fun.

Today was all about eating leftovers and washing the last of the pots and pans.  Tomorrow Drama Girl gets on a plane and heads back to college.  The truth is hitting me that this is another of "the lasts" - the last Halloween with kids in the house.  Shall I get rid of a lot of these decorations when I pack things up or wait and make decisions about them next year?  Will I be sad to unpack them next year or will I want to put some of their favorite things out again?

As the top picture shows, a lot of the friends of my kids have become part of the fabric of our family.  When my kids move on, these amazing young people will too, and I mourn the loss of all of them.

Tonight I am trying to be brave.  I choose to be philosophical and optimistic.  This was one of the last of the great kids parties, but there will be other celebrations with them in other ways in the future. I cannot stop the passage of time, and the best I can ever do is save the memory for myself.  This is why I blog.

It was great.  It was a lot of work.  It was all worth it.

Then and Now - 9/11

 

The picture above is from 2003.  I grabbed it today because it shows my 9/11 quilt in the background.  Every summer this quilt goes up on the wall.  While nobody in the house probably even thinks of the connection, that quilt will always remind me of 9/11.  Working on it in the months afterwards was very therapeutic for my jangled nerves. 

I remember the day it all happened, listening to the news reports in the car while I was driving the twins to preschool.  It was all surreal and unbelievable.  This morning I drove Jungle Boy down that same street as I took him to his classes at the community college.   He has no memory of the event.  We didn't have a television connected then (still don't) so my kids never saw that unrelenting news coverage.  They sang "God Bless America" around the flag at school a few years later on the anniversary, but never understood why.

Of course, they've studied it in school now, and have as much understanding as they do of any event in American history.  We've talked about it as a family, as we do many things, but for them it doesn't hold the weight that it does for those of us who do remember.

This is an event which separates our generations.  I was just a bit too young to remember the Kennedy assassination, which forever put me in a different category than those people who did remember it.

I hope that there will never be an event in their lifetimes that defines their generation in such a painful way.

The Final Tears

This weekend was the final ballet recital for Drama Girl.  After nine years of study,  it was time to say farewell to her beloved ballet school.

As in previous years, she was asked to use her storytelling skills to keep the excited younger dancers calm backstage.  I got a picture of this during dress rehearsal.

You could have heard a pin drop, they were so attentive.  I didn't hear the whole story, but it was a fairy tale that she made up.

She has worked as a student teacher for each of the classes of younger girls over the years.  She knows every single one of them.  So I was not surprised when the head of the ballet school made Drama Girl the star of the show.  She was the "birthday girl" and each class performed a dance as part of the party scene.

When she came out in her party dress, she was so lovely and happy. She combined her love of acting and dance and just glowed onstage. 

The final dance was the tribute to all of the graduating seniors.  It was beautiful and touching and at their last bow the five girls each got a big bouquet of flowers.  Several were fighting back tears, including Drama Girl.  Many of us in the audience were dabbing our eyes.

This dance school has been a huge part of her life.  She's taking her ballet shoes to college and hopes to make room in her schedule for classes.  As for me, I will be forever grateful for the chance to watch her experience all of this.

Boy. Jungle Boy.

I can't believe this is my son.  This is his tux for his band concert.  I'm just gobsmacked.

When the heck did this happen?  I swear I was buying little OshKosh overalls like yesterday.

It's only the rest of your life

I gave a little gift to Drama Girl yesterday.  Actually, more of a big, fat, heavy gift.  One year from now she will be up against the December 1 deadline for many college applications.  She doesn't have any idea where she wants to apply or what schools have to offer, so I got this to get her started.

I swear I remember signing her up for kindergarten like it was yesterday.  I even remember where I parked the car when I went to pick up the forms.  I was so excited.  I really can't believe how fast it has all gone by.

She still has SATs to take, and AP tests and many other things to get through.  Then we'll try to visit what colleges we can to help her see firsthand what they're like.

I'm nervous for her.  It's such a big decision.  She has so many interests now but as a parent, I know how much ideas can change at this age.

This morning after the kids left for school I found the book lying open in the family room - at the pages about Harvard.

Dream big Drama Girl!

What Makes a Champion

Another Monday, another gymnastics story.  This one is a little different though.

This weekend we watched Wasabi Girl in another gymnastics meet.  She did fairly well, and after rotating around to the different events we settled into seats for her last event, the uneven bars.

All the girls lined up to warm up.  They put on their grips, chalked up, and started their swings and flips.

And then it happened.  Every parent's worst nightmare.  A fall.  Hard.  On one ankle.  The crowd gasped and the gymnast's face told the whole story of pain.

A coach was right there to scoop her up and take her to the sidelines for ice and an exam by a nurse.  It was agony to see.

The rest of the girls had to finish the bars and then because it was the end of the meet, they gathered to sit by the winners' podium to hear the results and see who was to receive medals.

Injury couldn't stop the team spirit, so with the nurse's help and a lot of limping and grimicing, the injured girl sat with her team on the floor.

When the injured girl's name was called for a medal, Wasabi girl stood up, put her teammate on her back and carried her up to the podium.  The crowd cheered.  It was a beautiful moment, repeated several times as she won more medals.

I don't care about medals, although Wasabi Girl has won her share, including at this meet.  I know a real champion when I see one.  I am so proud of her.  Being on this gymnastics team has brought out the very best in her.  It didn't hurt that I overheard other parents telling her they had tears in their eyes when they saw what she did.  I know I did too.

I took this picture after the meet.  More smiles than pain at this moment because we stopped by a restaurant for a quick bite to refuel the girls after a long meet and before the injured friend has to spend a long afternoon at the doctor's office.  Fingers crossed that all goes well for her.



Prom

Here's my beautiful Drama Girl ready for her big night out.  She's still only a 10th grader, but she was asked by this nice 11th grade boy from her Improv team.  I think they're adorable.

I'm still in a state of denial that I have a daughter old enough to be going to the prom, but I'm so proud of the lovely young woman she is becoming.  I overheard her ordering the boutonniere on the phone and I was so impressed with her self-assurance and independence.

The whole world is shifting, as my husband and I move ever more slightly into the background of her life.  I guess it's a good thing this all happens so gradually.  Her growing up is certainly hard on me.

Setting the Record Straight

A few days ago Jungle Boy decided to watch Star Wars again.  The original.  So he put on the DVD and I watched it with him while I sewed.

"What a great movie!  It's so old but the special effects and everything are so great!"

"You're kidding, right?"

And then it hit me.  This is the only version of Star Wars he knows.  The doctored up, edited, "enhanced" messed up current version.  Not the beloved version I saw in theaters a dozen times when I was a teenager.

"You know, Han shot Greedo first actually.  This version is just wrong."  I explained the whole thing carefully, but Jungle Boy didn't see what difference it made.  I felt like a complete failure as a parent.  Why oh WHY did I get rid of my old VHS version?

So today I stopped by the thrift store, where they had numerous VHS versions.  It was an interesting game trying to figure out which one was probably the oldest.  I spent all of $2.50 for this trilogy.  Tonight I'm looking forward to a bowl of popcorn and the original, grainy, shoddy blue screen version without all the extra cgi characters and effects.

Lest you think I'm completely lax as a parent, be comforted that I did get Jungle Boy this little hard-to-find gem for Christmas:

The original Return of the Jedi soundtrack.  With the original Ewok celebration song at the end.  Because before there was a sullen teenage Anakin Skywalker pasted into the scene, before the snooze-inducing prequels, there was a glorious victory song.  Sung by an Ewok chorus.  This scene should just never have been messed with.

I may have made some mistakes as a parent, but letting my children have the wrong ideas about Star Wars isn't going to be one of them.

Kids in Restaurants

McDain's restaurant in Pennsylvania is banning children under six.  You can read the full story here and see a Youtube video from an angry parent here. 

I think it's a great idea and I applaud the restaurant manager for doing it.  I hope more restaurants follow suit.

I can see both sides of the argument.  In these tough economic times, babysitters are expensive.  If money is an issue, I suggest parents cook a nice meal at home.


Restaurants are public places.  Actually no, they are private property and it is completely legal for them to establish rules.  Most people forget that it wasn't that long ago that many restaurants had dress codes.  Some still do.  This particular restaurant is like a country club, situated at a golf course.


Kids will be kids.  Yes they will, which is why it is inappropriate to insert them into every aspect of society.  Your baby may wail when tired or cranky.  I shouldn't have to listen to it while I'm enjoying a steak and a glass of wine.  Take the child to a kid-friendly restaurant or hire a babysitter.

Kids can't sit still.  Yes they can.  Parents can teach table behavior as soon as kids are sitting up in a highchair and eating cheerios.  Do these kids run around at mealtime at home?  Parents are completely responsible for training kids how to behave in restaurants and I have no patience with parents who shirk this responsibility.

Now if we could only ban the under-six crowd from ballet and musical performances.

I have pretty strong opinions on this, but I'm eager to hear your viewpoint as well.  And yes, my kids have always behaved perfectly in restaurants.  I don't think they realize that they even push in their chairs when they leave a table - something they don't always do at home.

Makes My Monday: The Future

I'm an expert in wistful mom thoughts. With a sigh I remember getting the kindergarten packet to sign for Drama Girl. I remember filling in all the forms and gathering proof of our address.

Last Friday Drama Girl came home with another fat packet of forms - for high school this time.

How did this happen???

Back then, I was confident that she could stand still in line, hold scissors correctly and write all her letters.

Now I look at her as she sketches out her next four years, full of advanced placement math and science and Shakespeare. She wants to do it all; every difficult, challenging, class that will get her one step closer to her college dreams. Which will get her one step closer to that ultimate dream, a happy comfortable life.

I miss that little 5 year old girl terribly. I miss Readmore Bear, who came home when it was her turn and listened as we read stories to him. I miss fingerpainted art projects and carefully printed and stapled little books she copied all by herself.

And while I admire her determination to do it all, when she volunteered to commit her summers to summer school to get ahead, I had to rebel.

"Take summers off. Do some life-learning and reading and just play. You only get to be young once."

And how short that once really is.

So while I share her excitement about her bright future, this Monday is also tempered with some sadness that the future will arrive all too fast.

To see more Monday thoughts, visit Cheryl at Twinfatuation.

Makes My Monday: Clean and Organized

Do you hear that sound? It's angels singing. My daughters have cleaned their room. Not only have they cleaned it, they moved all the furniture around and completely changed it from a little girl room to a teen room.

Organized? Just look at the books color-coordinated with the Furbies:


And the trolls neatly lined up by color on the windowsill. I had no idea they had that many trolls.


The room is practically wallpapered now in beauty tips pulled from magazines. I would have loved to have this room as a teenager. I asked them how they picked the pages They said they liked the models with clean skin and pretty hair.

They have a reading nook, a study area, clean organized closets and orderly drawers. I couldn't be happier. Remains to be seen how long they can maintain it.

I'm so proud of their big clean up. Their good job makes my Monday. Visit Cheryl at Twinfatuation for more Monday makers.

I started my daughter on a drug today

Drama Girl is 13. She's begged for and received a cell phone. She's been to a movie with a boy (with a parent along). She's seen PG-13 movies. There remained on her list of forbidden fruit just one thing she wanted to try.

So after months of her begging, I broke down today.

I let her try coffee.

I took her to Starbucks, which is not my favorite coffee, but it was close to the high school where I picked her up. I ordered a latte for myself and a small decaf latte for her. (On a side note, one of the things I really hate about Starbucks is the way they try to make you order in faux Italian or something - small is "tall", medium is "grande" and large is stupido or something - I never order a large so I don't remember what they call it.)

We waited until we were served the cups with our names carelessly scrawled across them. She grabbed hers and I showed her how to slip the little sleeve on the cup. I felt like such a cool, indulgent mom. She loved me.

She took a swig and burned her tongue. "Don't drink it fast! It's hot!" My warning was too late.

"Ya think?" was her only reply. After that she sipped it like a pro.

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. There was no rolling around on the tongue, no facial expressions of experimenting with a new flavor. This girl who has a limited palate when it comes to food seemed to have no problem with coffee.

"This isn't your first cup of coffee, is it?"

"Maybe."

Thanks for playing along and letting me feel like a cool mom Drama Girl. And thanks for your honesty to try to save my feelings. May you enjoy lattes for many years to come.