Finished for Friday: My last crutch

February 23, 2011.  The final day I could use a parking placard.  I haven't actually used it in weeks, but seeing it expire is like a graduation of sorts.  I can walk now!  Really really walk.

If you've missed the saga of my surgeries and time out, don't worry about it.  Just celebrate with me.  This is a big final milestone.  I can't even pretend to be disabled any more to get a good spot at Starbucks.

Finished.  Finished.  Done.  With all of it.

What have you finished up this week?  Link up and let us see.  Thanks for playing along and have a great weekend.

The Workout for People Who Hate to Work Out

I used to exercise a lot.  Back in the day.  Before arthritis made life so painful and slow.  One of the things I looked forward to after my surgery was getting back into shape.

But I'm out of the habit of getting up at 5 o'dark and going to the gym.  And I'm self-conscious about being out of shape.  I needed something I could ease in to.

And then I found the most fun workout I've ever done.  Disguised as a game.  It's called Walk It Out and it's made for the wii.

The cover image is awful, so let's ignore that.  This is serious sweaty fun for grown-ups.  You can play alone or walk with a partner using the balance board, a dance dance revolution mat, or putting the nunchuck in your pocket.

After a brief tutorial, the game places you on a virtual island.  There are sandy beaches, forests, farms, a shopping district, suburbs, etc.  As you walk, your steps are tallied up and you can spend them to unlock new areas of the island, trees, buildings, fountains, windmills, and even an airship.

Does all that walking and clicking sound boring?  There's a catch.  You have to walk to the rhythm of the songs in the game, like "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas, and "Holiday" by Madonna.  What starts as a 10 minute stroll ends up being an hour-long workout as I try to unlock one more flower shop or cherry tree.

I can't wait to get on it every morning.  My legs, and especially my new hip have gotten so much stronger and toned up.  I selected to use mostly the slower songs, but I'm inching up the speeds.

There are active fan communities on facebook and at Amazon that offer a lot of support.  USA Today did a great review.  Do you have a wii?  This game's worth a try.

This review was not sponsored by Konami, the makers of Walk It Out.  I purchased my own copy.

Learning how to work it

I had a nice postsurgery checkup with my doctor yesterday.  As part of my evaluation he sent in a physical therapist.  She asked me to walk down the hall.

Walk I did.  Down and back.  No limp.  I was so proud of myself.

She was not impressed.  "You're holding yourself too still.  You have to swing your hips with each step.  Roll through your pelvis."

Seriously?  What she was demonstrating looked like it needed a snare drum accompaniment.  I tried it.  Concentrating on swaying my hips out.

"That's it!  Walk just like that!  Perfect!"

I felt like Mae West (does that make me old, that I know who Mae West is?  or maybe I just like old movies).  It felt silly and exaggerated.  But the problem is, I haven't walked "right" in so long, I seem to really not remember how to do it.

So if you see me walking down the street and shaking it, have a little sympathy.  I'm not trying to be sexy, I'm just still learning how to walk.


Thank you for the nice comments about my poor little sick cat.  She managed to avoid surgery and she is getting back to her old self, although she lost some weight during her ordeal.  I'm so thankful we have such a wonderful conscientious veterinarian.

Finished for Friday: Upright

I have a bit of a different finish that I'm proud of today.

I can walk.  This is something I haven't been able to do for a long time and it's an unbelievable feeling.  Over the last few days, I've mended from my hip surgery enough to leave the walker behind and take steps on my own.

There's still a long way to go - I'm not ready to backpack up bumpy hills or roller skate (ok, maybe I'm not chomping at the bit to roller skate), and I'm not allowed to drive for a few more weeks, but just the feeling of being upright and moving forward without pain and constant collapse is like winning the lottery to me.

I would have traded in all of my quilts, all of my creative finishes, all of the books I've read, if it could have gotten me here sooner.  This, to me, is the biggest thing I've accomplished in years.

I want to extend my warm thanks to everyone who has been supporting me and encouraging me.  Being in pain and being disabled by it are really tough.

It's time to celebrate you!  What have you finished this week?  Link up and let us come congratulate you.  If you're new here, please read the guidelines in the tab at the top of the page.  And please visit the posts from last week and next week to enter to win a $50.00 Amazon.com gift card at my Author Party!

Meet Ed Patterson

Today I'm happy to introduce Ed Patterson, Author of 15 books with more in the pipeline.  Remember, every comment you leave for an author during my author party gives you a chance to win the $50.00 Amazon.com gift card.

On a personal note, I'm home from the hospital now, after an unscheduled visit to the cardiac ICU in addition to my surgery.  I appreciate your support of my blog and these authors while I recuperate.

Tell us about your book

Look Away Silence. Martin and Matthew are an unlikely couple - as different as you can imagine. But when Matthew is struck down by the ravages of AIDS, Martin finds himself on an unimaginable journey of the heart. Written from my own experiences in health services and caregiving, this one will move readers in ways that can only be guess. Bring your own Kleenex. It centers on the life of a self-centered gay man in the early '90's who hops from holiday to holiday and hobby to hobby until he settles down unexpectedly as a caregiver. The book is dedicated to the Hyacinth AIDS Foundation and to my eighteen fallen friends, who hovered over me while I wrote the book. I sleep better at night now.

What inspired you to write this book?

I'm a veteran of AIDS volunteer services, having been in buddy services and fund-raising for years. The book is fed by my experiences and the people I knew, both patients and caregivers. Specifically, I was inspired by a couple who were torn apart during this period, Their story moved me first to poetry and then to a full length novel.

Do you have a favorite character?

The protagonist, Martin Powers is a favorite, and one of my favorites from my fifteen published works. I became close to him and imbued him with humor to keep the work emotionally steady. He is the only 1st person character I have ever rolled out, so by the end of the work, he sat on my shoulder like Jimeny Cricket.

Are any of your characters based on people you know in real life?

All my chaarcters in every novel are based in part on people I know and myself. That blend helps me secure them in the reader's imagination.

What kinds of things did you research to write your book?

I already had much of the knowledge for this one, both in AIDS services (training) and, for the depiction of the Gay & Lesbian Choral Association (GALA) Festival in Colorado, I had founded a GALA Chorus (The New Jersey Gay Men's Chorus) and attended the big Denver event myself. I am also intimate with the NAMES Project and attended the full AIDS Quilt display in Washington, DC.

I have a lot of very creative readers.  Do you have other hobbies or creative pursuits besides writing?

I've been writing for 50 years and, until I began to publish, it could have been considered a hobby. However, I also have degrees in Chinese History (Sinology) and have a life long passion for things Chinese. In fact, most of my other works have Chinese themes and historical Chinese settings. I love language and know seven , including Mandarin and Cherokee (I'm a native American), and I also sing (a tenor) and studied opera at the Brooklyn Conservatory of Music. I'm also a proud veteran and the founder of Operation eBook Drop, providing a conduit from over 400 Indie authors to our brave men and women serving overseas. I keep busy for an old Queen.

What’s on your nightstand (or kindle) right now?  

Besides my Kindle, chock full of my fellow Indie author works, I have the Cambridge History of China: The Ch'in and Han Dynasties, the first of several volumes each over 1,000 pages. Nothing like a little light reading to cut the insomnia.

Do you have any upcoming titles you’re working on?

I have 15 titles out and 10 in progress. My next published work is the 4th installment of my flagship series, The Jade Owl  entitled The People's Treasure. It should be out in September, but these 700 pagers take time, especially in the editing department. I also have the next book (Book III) of the five part series Southern Swallow called Swan Cloud. A gothic thriller called The Road to Grafenwoehr should be out in the first quarter of 2011, and the first book of a SciFi series called Belmundus should make it out in 2011 also. As I said, I'm a busy Queen.

What else would you like to add?

Here's an excerpt from Look Away Silence

I spent the week before Christmas rushing between work and Long Branch. The place needed a Dutch Cleanser scrub. Hank helped by covering Matt’s meals and meds. Fortunately, all these days were good days, so Matt didn’t miss work. I had also planned to squirrel over one of the computers, but decided against it. I didn’t know one end of the thing from another. I would surely screw it up and lose data or break a mouse. So I just decided that I would need to be Matt’s favorite pastime for the Christmas weekend.

I set up the manger and the holly and frosted the windows, although it looked like we might have a white Christmas. In fact, I prayed we would have a white Christmas. That would set my cowboy on the pinnacle of joy. There was something about the white stuff that electrified him. The only thing I didn’t do was buy the tree. I promised him that we’d pick it out together and decorate it on Christmas Eve. Hank was going to spend time with us then and help. However, Hank had no family, except us now. He had three other buddies, but decided he would make pit stops at their places and end up with us to help decorate the tree.

“Are you cold?” I asked Matt as we strolled through the nursery between the cut evergreens.

“I’m fine.”

He didn’t look fine. He smiled and his eyes were bright, but he was bundled up, his green plaid scarf high to his chin. I could hear his teeth chatter and his bones rattle.

“You could sit in the truck,” I said. “I mean, there’s no need to overdo it.”

“I’m fine, Pumpkin. Let’s just pick out a . . .”

He stood still, his eyes opening wider. He pointed.

“That one?” I asked.

“Perfect.”

It was perfect. Pyramidical. Full needled and ample. It wasn’t gargantuan either, which was a good thing. I inspected it.

“That one’s taken,” said a man who stood nearby. He was dressed in a flimsy jacket, had a red plaid hunter’s cap with the flaps askew. He needed a shave. “I spotted that one and have decided upon it.”

I frowned, and then looked for a tag, which would indicate a reservation or a SOLD. There wasn’t one.

“Well,” I said, “There’s no ticket on it.”

“Don’t need one, feller,” he said. “I’m here. I’m taking it. Don’t need to tag it.”

I perused him. He was a mean looking character, the kind that ate bullets for breakfast. Matt turned away.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’ll wait in the truck.”

Nice. It was like another session over the toilet bowel. Suddenly, my hand inexplicably latched onto the tree.

“Didn’t you hear me?” the man barked.

“I heard you fine,” I said, my Mary voice quite the airy-fairy. It was an out of body experience. My body said, run away. Hide behind the big blue conifer, but my soul said forget you, bully. I‘ve been pushed around by a retrovirus. So you’re not so muckin’ fuch. “The fact is, my lover wants this tree and this tree he shall have.”

I pulled the tree toward me, and then waved to the nurseryman, who was prompt.

“How much?”

“Twenty-eight,” he said.

Highway robbery, I thought.

“I’ll take it. Bale it up, and could someone help me get it to my truck?”

The tree disappeared into the building. The bully snorted, but didn’t contest it. If I didn’t know better I would say that he was put off by the twenty-eight. If the nurseryman had said fifteen, I would have been pounded to a pulp. I marched to the truck, where Matt rolled down the window. His face was bluish.

“Roll the window up. I’ll put on the heat.”

“Did you get it?”

I smiled.

“Nobody messes with this girl once I get my dander up.”

Matt laughed, coughed and rolled the window up.

Where can we find your book?

Amazon.com   for the Kindle  and here in Paperback

Any other links?

My author's page on Anazon is http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002BMI6X8

My website is Dancaster Creative - http://www.dancaster.com

Counting the Days

Nine days until my surgery to replace my hip.

I try not to host a pity party on my blog or facebook, but I'm at a real low point in my life right now.  Pain and immobility leave me mostly housebound, with my daily circuit limited to three rooms; living room, bedroom, family room.  My world has gotten very small.  To move from one to another requires a lot of effort and comes at the expense of more pain. 

I often think about that skiing accident years ago that left me with this early arthritis problem.  Amazing how one moment in time can change so much of your life.

I've been forced to adjust my days so that I am primarily sitting still.  I'm using the opportunity to get a lot of needlework done and look up occasionally at the TV when my kids watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns.  I'm reading a lot of books.

But the funny thing is, when you're forced to give up the chores of life and sit still, is when you realize how much you want to be up and about doing all the mundane things.  My poor garden! And oh look!  that closet needs to be organized!

Nothing I can do about it now, but wait and look forward to a good recovery.

Have you ever been sidelined from life for a while?  What did you do and how did you cope?

We Can Build Her Better! Stronger! Faster!

If you're from my era you recognize this line from "The Six-Million-Dollar Man" show. I thought the whole concept of bionics was fascinating. Replace body parts with something better. Little did I imagine I would face the decision to do this myself someday.

The date is now set for my hip replacement surgery. Out with the joint I was born with, in with new materials made out of I don't know what that just might outlast the rest of my body.

I have mixed feelings about it, and a bit of fear about the long-term. Artificial hips don't last forever, and I still have a lot of years left to live. My range of motion will be limited. And no jogging for the rest of my life.

But as the orthopedist so kindly pointed out to me, I have absolutely no options left. It's just bone on bone in there, grinding away and preventing me from walking easily across a room. Yes, it hurts as much as you think it does. I'll be glad to get rid of that whole pain thing.

So July 14 it is. New hip day. Time to make me better, stronger, and since I wobble at a snail's pace now, definitely faster. Wish me luck. And please tell me you remember that show too (and its spin-off, the Bionic Woman).

Makes My Monday: Baby Steps

I have had a crazy long year of dealing with the medical profession regarding my stupid hip. On Friday, I went in once again for a procedure. It was a last ditch effort to see if they could get me from a hobble to at least a modest wobble.

I admit I did a lot of praying. This procedure works sometimes. For some people. The lovely doctor who worked on me was quite pregnant so we discussed babies and happy things. Then my job was to sit back quietly and wait for a few days to see if it worked.

On Sunday, I took a few steps without a cane. And a few more. And it barely hurt. I don't want to jinx it.

Holding my breath, putting one foot in front of the other, and seeing that there just may be a light at the end of the tunnel makes my Monday.

Visit Cheryl at Twinfatuation for more Monday makers.

Misfiring

How do toddlers do it? Pull themselves up, let go, and just walk across the floor?

I'm wondering, because I find that I am right back there. A return check-up post hip-surgery has determined that my muscles are all firing in the wrong order, which explains why I walk with a bigger limp than a mad scientist's assistant.

So I have to learn how to walk. All over again. Again.

My kids cheer me on with the song from the Christmas movie "Just put one foot in front of the other mom!" I screw up my face in concentration and try to repeat the 47 parts of a step to myself: "heel lands, roll tibia in, roll knee in, soften hip, up and over the hip, weight forward. . ." I have no idea how tiny babies figure it out without a physical therapist coaching them through every muscle movement.

I watch movies and lose track of the plot because I can't stop thinking "look how easily everyone is just. . .walking!"

Someday I hope to be back to unconscious walking again. In the meantime, it makes me realize how much I probably take for granted every day of my life.

So tell me, where have you walked today? Let me enjoy a little vicarious strolling through you.

Finished for Friday: I'm FREE!!

No more thumbscrews by threeundertwo related [litandlaundry.blogspot.com]

I am so excited and thrilled that I don't have to go back and get stretched and manipulated and hurt any more. I'm not cured, but I can walk well enough to bid the halls of the therapy building goodbye. This is very exciting for me.

I also managed to put together a little doll quilt while I was tidying up my sewing space.


What have you finished up this week? Grab my button from my sidebar for your blog, and sign in on Mr. Linky below. Fingers crossed I have him working this week. It's late and I've spent too much of my evening watching Michael Jackson videos reading fine literature.

New Goal

Some people train to run marathons. Some do conditioning for months or years to climb mountains. I have a goal that's just as challenging for me.

I want to put on socks.

It's funny really. I'll have a sock in my hands, and I look at that foot, and the gulf between them is like miles. All the result of the arthroscopic surgery on my hip.

Sometimes I cheat by grabbing a pant leg and pulling hard. I can almost get the foot close enough, but it really hurts. Sometimes I actually stand up and lean forward to put on my socks. I rock back on the heel to slip the toe on, then rock onto the toe to pull it over the heel. Then there's the bed maneuver, where I lay out over my straight leg to put it on. Thank heavens for my long waist.

So what I really want to do, is to put on socks the way you do. By bending my hip at an incredible angle.

I'm training for it. Stretching hard. Pushing myself every day. My physical therapist asks at every session how the socks are going. Then she scolds me if I admit I cheat. It's probably in big red letters in my chart: Patient requires sock therapy.

But my dreams don't end with socks. Once I accomplish this, I'm hoping to achieve my ultimate goal - wearing shoes that tie.

The Joy of Physical Therapy

The Joy of Physical Therapy by threeundertwo related [litandlaundry.blogspot.com]

Really, I do love my physical therapist. She's a lovely person and I'm sure we would be wonderful friends in the real world. But in her world, in that physical therapy center, all I want to do is finish and get out of there.

There is a sort of camaraderie in the PT center. Everybody is working to repair themselves. Sometimes, as we sit next to each other at the bikes or plod the treadmills, we chat, in that "what are you in here for" sort of way. Everyone clucks appreciatively at everyone else's infirmities.

The real business is over at the line of tables though. That's where we are variously massaged/stretched/manipulated by the therapists. I try not to make faces. Everyone tries not to make faces. We try to joke sometimes. But having someone move your bones and muscles past where they want to move takes the humor out of you.

I'm sure I'll be grateful when this is all over. Right now, not so much.

Patience

I haven't had much patience lately. Every day, first thing in the morning, I am reminded that 1) I am in pain and 2) I still can't walk. Hobbling around with a cane, feeling like I have broken glass inside my hip joint, is wearing away at me.

Patience.
The doctor says I'll be better in about six months after my surgery. Until then, it's endless days of physical therapy and exercises at home every day. To drive myself even crazier, while I do my exercises, I listen to a mix of Disneyland music on my ipod. I wish I were actually at Disneyland, walking around with my kids and my friends, but it will just have to wait.

So I do what I can. I got some dishes done yesterday and had to lie down for an hour afterwards. My husband has been such a saint about doing all these things. I'm grateful, but I really wish I could do them myself.

Patience.
The twins are overdue for a birthday party. To make matters worse, the kids didn't get a fun vacation for either ski week or Spring vacation. "Everyone went to Tahoe mom!" I wish we could have gone too. I think it isn't fair that the kids don't get a break just because their mom can't walk. But my poor husband took a lot of days off from work to take care of me and he can't afford any more.

Patience.
Lent is almost over, and Sunday will be Orthodox Easter. I can't sit in the pew or stand, so I'll be celebrating the midnight liturgy here at home while my kids and husband sing and light candles at church. It's the most beautiful service of the year. Next year. I'll be there again next year.

Today I opened my blog reader and was reminded just how small my problems are. I'm learning a lot about patience from NieNie. If you need a little patience and inspiration from a remarkable woman, read what she's written today here.

I guess I can be a little more patient after all.

The Longest Yard

I focused on my goal, ignoring the screaming pain coming from my body. Every pore dripped sweat as I struggled to the finish. My breathing was hard and ragged.

My mind was no longer attached to my moving legs and feet. I achieved a clarity of purpose; the Zen of elite athletes. My whole being centered on keeping up my momentum. One foot in front of the other, their steady rhythm told me "don't stop, you can't stop!" Although alone for the moment, in my mind I heard cheering crowds as I neared the finish line.

I gasped as I crossed it, and nearly stumbled into a state of collapse. This was the hardest thing I have ever pushed myself to do in my life, but somehow, through sheer willpower, I did it.

Today I walked for five minutes on a treadmill.

The End of an Era or Two

Tomorrow I start walking without my crutches. It's a big day for me, and I'm happy to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've lived with pain for 20 years at least, sometimes intense, and it's always been part of who I am. Now there is just a tiny bit left, and I'll be walking with my new and improved skeleton. It's exciting.

So goodbye pain and limp, I learned to live with you, but I never liked you.

*******************

In other news, the twins turned 11 this weekend. It feels very much like an era of their lives is finished. They are such different people now. Rebellious, sassy, developing their own tastes and ideals. They still see the world together but they are more likely now to draw different conclusions from it.

It was a challenge coordinating a birthday from the bed. Thank heavens for Amazon.com and their speedy delivery. Of course, one gift didn't arrive until late on the actual day of their birthday, so that was a bit of a nail-biter. But despite all, Jungle Boy said the phrase I never get tired of hearing; "This was the best birthday ever." He says it every year, and I consider it one of my mommy report cards.

I do apologize for everyone for being so behind in reading blogs. Hopefully I'll get back in the swing of things and be able to spend time at the computer now.

Finished for Friday: A Shower

There have been three great showers in my lifetime. Two of them were after giving birth. I swear that dinky little shower in the hospital was like a spa retreat. The third was last night, when I finally got to take a shower for the first time in over two weeks since my surgery

Heaven. Even if I did have to sit in a plastic garden chair because I couldn't stand up. It was actually sort of elegant that way, just sitting there, getting clean.

My stitches came out yesterday, and the surgeon went over the operation and showed me all the gory photos he took. I was fascinated (some of you may recall I used to work in a morgue). My hip joint was a real mess.

"All I want," I told him, "is for somebody to tell me that must have really hurt."

He looked at me and said, "Not only did that really hurt, you must be really really tough."

I'm just glad I'm through having to be tough. There's still pain, but I'm working through it, and my physical therapist is wonderful.

Happily, the other thing I'm finished with is the dreaded leg machine! Wheeeeee! I'm a free woman! I would do the happy dance - if I could.

I did finish some other things, but they pale by comparison. Let's see what you've been up to. I'm off to take another shower. . .

Finished for Friday the 13th

I haven't got much to show for this week, but I've logged 54 hours on the leg torture therapy machine.


I've read 1 real book (Gods and Generals) and 2 lovely mindless books; Something about a runaway Princess and something about this guy who breaks his leg and ends up waiting to heal in a room in a house with a beautiful woman in Medieval England and the whole plot is just a retelling of "Rear Window." I can't even remember the name of that one and I read it yesterday.

I've been working on some needlework projects, but haven't finished any yet. Hope you have something to share!

That Paper Clip on the Floor

That paper clip has been there for a week now. Not only can I not bend down to pick it up, but nobody in the family has picked it up, which tells you something of the state of the floors around here.

They're all being flexible and rolling with a house where the mom is strapped to the bed all day. It's funny and endearing. My husband brought me a load of my laundry that he'd done. Despite my carefully detailed outline of exactly how to do laundry, he forgot the dryer sheet. It was a basket full of static. He must have fried it in the dryer for a long time to get it that crackly. I have to laugh. But at least he did it!

The twins are ecstatic because daddy took them out and got them matching cell phones. They spend every free hour texting eachother. At least they always check in with me as they get picked up by their various rides after school. Peace of mind and happiness all around.

I can hobble slowly on my crutches - which is why I keep seeing that paper clip - and I get to the table for meals. Eating in bed is so overrated. Who wants the crumbs?

A million thanks to my sister, who sent a box full of wonderful mindless cheesy paperbacks. I'm also getting some embroidery done.

Still battling pain management, especially at night, but there is definitely progress. The physical therapist has started using electric current to stimulate blood flow. I told the kids I'm going to get little bolts inserted in the sides of my neck for permanent pain relief. They almost believed me.


Enough typing. Time to go back to bed and get the leg in the machine again.